Its been a while...

Its been so long since I've felt so despondent, so helpless.

I know life is a like a book, each experience a chapter, ultimately leading to some grand finale. I don't know if its a happy ending though. I'm not a cynic who thinks bad things only happen and the worlds out to get me. On the contrary, I'm a firm believer in good coming to those who deserve it, and in the fairy tale happy endings. Although, I don't know if such happy endings are written in my own destiny.

 

I've been lucky enough to be graced with some blessings that others have waited a lifetime for; I've also been graced with my fair share of tests and trials, all from which I've found a lesson to be learnt, or an experience from which to be enriched. Lately though, it feels like its all too much, like growing up is the most overrated experience in the world!

 

I’ve never been the best at anything. I’ve chosen to live my life, measuring myself against my own standards, not anyone else's. Now I can’t help but think what if it was just my way of compensating for not being good enough.

What if this is all I am? What if this is all I’ll ever be? What if this is just what’s left of my life?

I'm searching for answers, looking for hope, floating by on this cloud of nothingness, longing for some sort of salvation, some guiding light, or atleast just something that makes everything else bearable.

And now, I've come to realise, that honestly, it could've been MUCH MUCH worse.
Life goes on... We live, we learn... It is, what it is :)